"Something wrong with your eyes?"

"Yes, they're sensitive to questions."

"What happened to the first two marriages?"

"My wives divorced me."

"Why?"

"I think they said I led too dull a life."

"Now you listen to me, I'm an advertising man, not a red herring. I've got a job, a secretary, a mother, two ex-wives and several bartenders dependent on me, and I don't intend to disappoint them all by getting myself 'slightly' killed."

"Stop!"

"Oh. Excuse me."

"Stop."

"No, no, Mother, I have not been drinking. No, no. These two men, they poured a whole bottle of bourbon into me. No, they didn't give me a chaser."

"It's going to be a long night."

"True."

"And I don't particularly like the book I've started."

"Ah."

"You know what I mean?"

"Ah, let me think. Yes, I know exactly what you mean."

"What's wrong with men like me?"

"They don't believe in marriage."

"I've been married twice."

"See what I mean?"

"I tipped the steward five dollars to seat you here if you should come in."

"Is that a proposition?"

"I never discuss love on an empty stomach."

"You've already eaten!"

"But you haven't."

"Mr. Kaplan, you are quite the performer. First you're the outraged Madison Avenue advertising executive who claims that he has been mistaken for someone else. Next, you play the fugitive from justice supposedly trying to clear himself of a crime he knows he didn't commit. And now, you're the jealous lover spurned by love and betrayal."

"Apparently the only performance that will satisfy you is when I play dead."

"Your very next role, and you'll be quite convincing, I assure you."

"How do we know it's not a fake? It looks like a fake."

"Well, one thing we know. You're no fake. You are a genuine idiot."

"The moment I meet an attractive woman, I have to start pretending I have no desire to make love to her."

"What makes you think you have to conceal it?"

"She might find the idea objectionable."

"Then again, she might not."

"I don't like the games you play, Professor."

"War is hell, Mr. Thornhill. Even when it's a cold one."

"If you fellows can't lick the Vandamms of this world without asking girls like her to bed down with them and fly away with them and probably never come back, perhaps you ought to start learning how to lose a few cold wars."

"I'm afraid we're already doing that."

"If I thought there was any chance of changing your mind, I'd talk about Miss Kendall, of whom you so obviously disapprove."

"Yes, for using sex like some people use a flyswatter."

"You must have had some doubts about her yourself. You still do."

"Rubbish."

"Why else would you have decided not to tell her that our little treasure here has a belly full of microfilm?"

"You seem to be trying to fill mine with rotten apples."

"Sometimes the truth does taste like a mouthful of worms."

"The truth? I've heard nothing but innuendos."

"Call it my woman's intuition, if you will. But I've never trusted neatness. Neatness is always the result of deliberate planning."

"I think I'd like to meet these killers."

"You gentlemen aren't really trying to kill my son, are you?"

"I don't see why you want me along."

"Well, you lend a certain air of respectability."

"Don't be sarcastic, Roger."

"Roger, I think we should go."

"Don't be nervous."

"I'm not nervous. I'll be late for the bridge club."

"Good, you'll lose less than usual."

"Pay the two dollars."

"That was mother."

"They've mistaken me for a man who's only five feet tall."

"I've always told you to stand up straight."

"Roger, will you be home for dinner?"

"In the world of advertising, there's no such thing as a lie. There is only the expedient exaggeration."

"Oh, well, put 'Something for your sweet tooth, baby, and all your other sweet parts.'"

"You're the smartest girl I ever spent the night with on the train."

"The train, it's safer... Well, because there's no place to hide on a plane if anyone should recognize me... oh, you want me to jump off a moving plane?"

"I didn't realize you were an art collector. I thought you just collected corpses."

"I'll bet you paid plenty for this little piece of sculpture. She's worth every dollar of it, take it from me. She puts her heart into her work. In fact, her whole body."

"I want the girl to get what's coming to her. You turn her over to me and I'll see there's enough pinned on her to keep her uncomfortable for the rest of her life."

"You do that and I'll look the other way tonight."

"I don't like the way Teddy Roosevelt is looking at me."

"He's the poor sucker who got mistaken for George Kaplan... Vandamm's men must have grabbed him, tried to put him away using Lester Townsend's house - and the unsuspecting Mr. Townsend winds up with a stray knife in his back. C'est la guerre. It's so horribly sad. How is it I feel like laughing?"

"We do nothing... That's right, nothing."

"We created George Kaplan and labored successfully to convince Vandamm that this was our own agent hot on his trail for a desperately important reason."

"That's funny... That plane's dustin' crops where there ain't no crops."

"That wasn't very sporting, using real bullets."

"And what the devil is all this about? Why was I brought here?"

"Games, must we?"

"Not that I mind a slight case of abduction now and then, but I have tickets for the theatre this evening, to a show I was looking forward to and I get, well, kind of unreasonable about things like that."

"With such expert play-acting, you make this very room a theatre."

"My name is Thornhill, Roger Thornhill! It's never been anything else... So obviously, your friends picked up the wrong package when they bundled me out here in the car."

"Oh, you're that type."

"What type?"

"Honest."

"Not really."

"Good, because honest women frighten me."

"Why?"

"I don't know. Somehow they seem to put me at a disadvantage."

"Because you're not honest with them?"

"Exactly."

"I'm Eve Kendall. I'm twenty-six and unmarried. Now you know everything."

"Tell me. What do you do besides lure men to their doom on the Twentieth Century Limited?"

"I'm an industrial designer."

"Jack Phillips. Western sales manager for Kingby Electronics."

"No, you're not. You're Roger Thornhill of Madison Avenue, and you're wanted for murder on every front page in America, and don't be so modest."

"Whoops!"

"Oh, don't worry, I won't say a word."

"How come?"

"I told you. It's a nice face."

"Is that the only reason?"