"Note, any resemblance between Hynkle the Dictator and the Jewish Barber is purely co-incidental."

"This is a story of a period between two World Wars - an interim in which Insanity cut loose. Liberty took a nose dive, and Humanity was kicked around somewhat."

"I'm sorry, but I don't want to be an emperor. That's not my business. I don't want to rule or conquer anyone."

"I should like to help everyone if possible; Jew, Gentile, black man, white. We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that."

"We want to live by each other's happiness — not by each other's misery. We don't want to hate and despise one another."

"In this world there is room for everyone. And the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone. The way of life can be free and beautiful, but we have lost the way."

"Greed has poisoned men's souls, has barricaded the world with hate, has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed."

"We have developed speed, but we have shut ourselves in. Machinery that gives abundance has left us in want."

"Our knowledge has made us cynical. Our cleverness, hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little."

"More than machinery we need humanity. More than cleverness we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost."

"The aeroplane and the radio have brought us closer together. The very nature of these inventions cries out for the goodness in men, cries out for universal brotherhood, for the unity of us all."

"Even now my voice is reaching millions throughout the world — millions of despairing men, women and little children — victims of a system that makes men torture and imprison innocent people."

"To those who can hear me, I say — do not despair. The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed — the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress."

"The hate of men will pass, and dictators die, and the power they took from the people will return to the people. And so long as men die, liberty will never perish."

"Soldiers! Don't give yourselves to brutes — men who despise you — enslave you — who regiment your lives — tell you what to do — what to think and what to feel!"

"Who drill you — diet you — treat you like cattle, use you as cannon fodder. Don't give yourselves to these unnatural men — machine men with machine minds and machine hearts!"

"You are not machines! You are not cattle! You are men! You have the love of humanity in your hearts! You don't hate! Only the unloved hate — the unloved and the unnatural!"

"Soldiers! Don't fight for slavery! Fight for liberty!"

"In the 17th Chapter of St. Luke it is written: 'The Kingdom of God is within man' — not one man nor a group of men, but in all men! In you!"

"You, the people have the power — the power to create machines. The power to create happiness! You, the people, have the power to make this life free and beautiful, to make this life a wonderful adventure."

"Then, in the name of democracy, let us use that power! Let us all unite! Let us fight for a new world, a decent world that will give men a chance to work, that will give youth the future and old age a security."

"By the promise of these things, brutes have risen to power, but they lie! They do not fulfill their promise; they never will! Dictators free themselves, but they enslave the people!"

"Now let us fight to fulfill that promise! Let us fight to free the world, to do away with national barriers, to do away with greed, with hate and intolerance!"

"Let us fight for a world of reason, a world where science and progress will lead to all men's happiness. Soldiers, in the name of democracy, let us all unite!"

"Hannah, can you hear me? Wherever you are, look up, Hannah. The clouds are lifting! The sun is breaking through! We are coming out of the darkness into the light!"

"We are coming into a new world, a kindlier world, where men will rise above their hate, their greed and brutality."

"Look up, Hannah! The soul of man has been given wings, and at last he is beginning to fly. He is flying into the rainbow — into the light of hope, into the future, the glorious future that belongs to you, to me and to all of us."

"Look up, Hannah. Look up."

"Hannah, did you hear that?"

"Listen..."

"Strange, these strike leaders, they're all brunettes. Not a blonde amongst them."

"Brunettes are trouble makers. They're worse than the Jews."

"Then wipe them out."

"Start small. Not so fast. We get rid of the Jews first, then concentrate on the brunettes."

"We shall never have peace 'til we have a pure Aryan race. How wonderful. Tomainia, a nation of blue-eyed blondes."

"Why not a blonde Europe, a blonde Asia, and blonde America."

"A blonde world."

"And a brunette dictator."

"Dictator of the world!"

"Corona veniat electis. Victory shall come to the worthy. Today, democracy, liberty, and equality are words to fool the people. No nation can progress with such ideas. They stand in the way of action. Therefore, we frankly abolish them."

"In the future, each man will serve the interest of the State with absolute obedience. Let him who refuses beware!"

"The rights of citizenship will be taken away from all Jews and other non-Aryans. They are inferior and therefore enemies of the state."

"It is the duty of all true Aryans to hate and despise them."

"Henceforth this nation is annexed to the Tomanian Empire, and the people of this nation will obey the laws bestowed upon us by our great leader, the Dictator of Tomainia, the conqueror of Osterlich, the future Emperor of the World!"

"You speak."

"I can't."

"You must. It's our only hope."

"Do you believe in God?"

"Well..."

"I do! But, if there wasn't one, would you live any different? I wouldn't."

"Remember my words. Your cause is doomed to failure because it's built on the stupid, ruthless persecution of innocent people. Your policy is worse than a crime. It's a tragic blunder!"

"Traitor! Traitor! You're nothing but a doubley-eyed Democrat!"

"We're upside down!"

"I know it."

"Give me that stick!"

"Impossible."

"Oh, there it goes. We're out of gas. Well, this is it then."

"Cigarette?"

"Not now."

"Then I shan't need this anymore."

"What month is it? April. Spring! In Tomainia. Hilda will be in the garden now, tilling the daffodils. How she loves daffodils. She could never cut them for fear of hurting them. It was like taking a life, to cut a daffodil. Sweet, gentle Hilda."

"There it is! The village of Pretzelberg."

"Pretzelberg?"

"If we can pass through there, we're safe across the Osterlich border."

"In future you will not be molested again. If you or your friends ever need help..."

"Who did that?"

"One of my friends."

"In ancient times the Aryan tribe of Langobardians made human sacrifice to the god Thor. At feast, by lottery, the victim was chosen. Tonight, at this feast, one of you will be chosen."

"How was it?"

"The speech? Very good. I thought your reference to the Jews might have been more violent."

"What?"

"We've got to rouse the people's anger. At this time, violence against the Jews might take the public's mind off its stomach."

"It's our destiny! We'll kill off the Jews. Wipe out the brunettes. Then, will come forth our dream of pure Aryan race!"

"Beautiful blonde Aryans."

"They will love you. They will adore you. They will worship you as a god!"

"Oh! No-no! You mustn't say it! You make me afraid of myself."

"Declare war on Napaloni."

"Napaloni?"

"Yes, Napaloni! Listen, you blockhead. Mobilise every division of the army and the air force. Proceed to Bacteria and attack at once."

"But war will be the end of us."

"Do as I tell you."

"Madness."

"Shut up!"

"Very well. Would you sign this?"

"Yes, I'll... what is it?"

"The declaration of war."

"Then I'll sign it. A pen! Und stratz mit ze uldensackt. I'll sign it! Und stratz mit sei öldensackt, il der, der flutens... , der... , der... , und strippensackt! A pen! I'll sign it. Napaloni, de grosse peanut, de cheesy ravioli. There!"

"We've just discovered the most wonderful, the most marvelous poisonous gas! It will kill everybody!"

"All right, later, later, later."

"Garbitsch, what's the meaning of this? These appropriations? Twenty-five million for prison camps when we need every penny for the manufacturing of ammunition's?"

"We've had to make a few arrests."

"A few? How many?"

"Nothing astronomical. Five or ten thousand."

"Oh."

"A day."

"A day?"

"Just a few dissenters, that's all."

"Nothing works! Not a decent pen. Not even a sharp pencil! I'm surrounded by nothing but incompetent, stupid, sterile stenographers!"

"This man, Napaloni, is aggressive, domineering. Before we make our demands, we must put him in his place."

"Precisely! But, how?"